Much to my surprise I just watched an interview with the Monarch of Jordan, Abdullah II. bin Hussein. The King spoke a rather pleasant outside version of Oxford, UK English. In his answers you could feel that old, often misunderstood, time and again unsuccessfully copied but never mastered art of british imperial understatement. Don´t try and tell me that you really understand understatement; even if you are a Brit, you may own the bloody thing, but that don´t mean you understand it, as my friends from the old home would say. Nobody understands it.
Never mind, all of this is completely besides the point. This man, carefully choosing his words, watchful eyes and a face that would put even a veteran poker player to the test, yet with an Aura of ..... damn it! I have to admit that I, for once, can´t find the proper words to describe this ruler of
the constitutional monarchy of Jordan, the home of the ancient city of Petra, the greek word for stone. Petra is the famous city that was carved into a canyon, a city of stone indeed. If you never heard of it, you should seriously google it. It´s amazing.
Rambling, again. Ok, with an air of benign authority the King reminded me - and anybody else who happened to be watching, that the so called Arab Spring started with a young man in Tunesia setting himself on fire because of the desperate economic situation of his country. The King carefully proceeded to say that the original spark which started the civil unrest in the Arab World was nothing that was limited to this region, but a world wide crisis of finances gone awry.
He added that really there was no Arab spring, a phrase coined by the western media. Let´s face it, we were all caught by surprise when Arab countries went into chaos and religious rebellion without us bombing them first, nice and proper.
No, the king said that it would take 10 to 15 years for this process to complete, and that it would be different for each and everyone of these countries, but that it all started not because of a sudden hunger for liberal values and western style democracy, but because of our so called world wide financial crisis.
To quote Roger Waters "Oh Maggie - Maggie, what did we do?"
Yes, friends, the edges are getting rather frenzy. Sela.
We still pretend like this is happening to someone else, when we publicly discuss what to do about Syria, as if we ever had or now have any control over this civil war. All we do know is that the opposing sides stem from two different sects of the islam. Hallebaba, what a surprise, Abrahams best friend is once more involved. But the point is, we do not have any power or influence over these wars, and there are more civil wars on the verge of breaking out all over the world, like in Greece, in Portugal or in Spain for example.
And I´m just naming the ones that have already seen massive civil unrest over the past few months, I don´t even want to think about the potential of unrest in places like Russia, Lithuania or the US. Or bloody Germany, for that matter.
No.
Wait.
Hmmmm.
So, bear with me here. What if, theoretically, the Nazis came back to power in Germany and casually provoked England, ridiculed America, threatened Poland and nuked France?
I think it´s safe to say that everybody would be really upset about most of this and kinda glad that it was just France getting nuked. And then we would finally have a common enemy again, and a familiar one, too, one that we can all agree upon, DER DEUTSCHER NAZISCHWEINHUND!
I could spend the entire war tucked away in my panic room, reading Zettel´s Traum and drinking my neighbour´s Brandy. I might even publish an Anne Frank style diary later on, only I wouldn´t end up dead in a Vernichtungslager, but with a bad headache and a rather annoyed neighbour.
Sounds like a plan.
Tune in next week when we will use a fascists uprising to better the world.
...does it get any better...?
Mittwoch, 26. September 2012
Mittwoch, 19. September 2012
Apologies and Libya
I want to apologize for leaving y'all standing in the rain without a even as much as a note from me, while the news were exploding with violence, doom and embarrassment, the latter for Mr.Romney. Those darn camera-phones!
But let´s not stray from the subject, which is my sincere apoplogy for not being there for you. On the first day of the muslim riots I unfortunately received an obscure Email suggesting that my poem about the dystopia to come was the sole cause of all the religious unrest in the muslim world. I immediately retreated to the security of my panic room, expecting a horde of raving and jabbering assassins to kick down my door any minute. After a few days in solitary confinement I finally received a message from my wife, saying that my poem didn´t cause any civil or religious but rather digestive unrest in some of my readers and also that we didn´t own any type of panic room and that what I was mistaking for a panic room really was our neighbour´s winecellar. This did explain the rather unusual supplies of the room, consisting mainly of wine, old brandy, ritz-crackers and quite a disturbing collection of pornography. Since I agreed not to mention the latter to his wife, my neighbour only ground his teeth after seeing the amounts of brandy and wine that I had consumed and refrained from calling the police.
So, Libya. Did any of you ever wonder how things went after the killing of the Colonel? One moment the news were filled with the civil war in Libya, then they killed the Colonel, and then? Zilch. Nothing. Nada. Not even one bit of news. Who's in charge now? What about the tribal rivalry? Who´s in control of the oil? What about the Colonel's family? I´m pretty sure they killed his sons, but whatever happened to his daughter? And, more importantly, what happened to all his money?
So, for the most part I was glad to get any type of news from Libya. Obviously, the people of Libya are far from happy, and not just because of that silly video. No, there has to be more to this attack on the embassy, since the authorities were not sure whether the attacks were related to the video or just an unrelated attack commemorating the attacks of 9/11, which in turn suggests an atmosphere of general hostility in the country. Which, of course, is not much of a surprise.
Another question that remains a mystery is the correct spelling of the Colonel´s name. Gaddafi was the first version I ever saw, back when Reagan decided to bomb Libya. The american media insisted that it was Ghaddafy, which looked distinctly more mysterious than the german version. Some german newspapers suggested that it really was Khaddafy, but that version never stuck. Then, with the arrival of Al Quaida it suddenly was Quaddafy, and even Al Quaddafy but the latter turned out to be a mistake by a drunken editor at the ------- Network(deleted at insistance of the editor). One Blogger from Athens insists up until today that everyone has got it wrong and that the Colonel wasn´t even a Libyan but a greek con-man named Stelios Kontos, but I will not perpetuate any such rumours by spreading them even further, so please do ignore that last bit.
Still, after that single bit of news about the dead diplomat it became quiet again and nothing else transpired from the desert lands. An american diplomat was brutally murdered, for crying out loud, and there isn´t even a hint of a reaction from the White House, apart from a few empty phrases? The US have bombed places for a lot less, Libya amongst them. Unfortunately it is virtually impossible to assess the situation in the country with the news focussing on the rest of the muslim world. Again I find myself writing down a lot of questions with no answers. But I never promised you any answers. I only set out to describe and maybe even celebrate the last days of the Western Liberal World, no more and no less, and this is exactly what you are getting. And if you still have any doubts about the dystopian character of the whole bloody mess, well, then you obviously haven´t been watching any news lately. Maybe you decided to spend some time in your panic room. Maybe you don´t have a panic room, but still decided to spend some time there by yourself.
Don´t worry about it. It´s ok.
I understand.
But let´s not stray from the subject, which is my sincere apoplogy for not being there for you. On the first day of the muslim riots I unfortunately received an obscure Email suggesting that my poem about the dystopia to come was the sole cause of all the religious unrest in the muslim world. I immediately retreated to the security of my panic room, expecting a horde of raving and jabbering assassins to kick down my door any minute. After a few days in solitary confinement I finally received a message from my wife, saying that my poem didn´t cause any civil or religious but rather digestive unrest in some of my readers and also that we didn´t own any type of panic room and that what I was mistaking for a panic room really was our neighbour´s winecellar. This did explain the rather unusual supplies of the room, consisting mainly of wine, old brandy, ritz-crackers and quite a disturbing collection of pornography. Since I agreed not to mention the latter to his wife, my neighbour only ground his teeth after seeing the amounts of brandy and wine that I had consumed and refrained from calling the police.
So, Libya. Did any of you ever wonder how things went after the killing of the Colonel? One moment the news were filled with the civil war in Libya, then they killed the Colonel, and then? Zilch. Nothing. Nada. Not even one bit of news. Who's in charge now? What about the tribal rivalry? Who´s in control of the oil? What about the Colonel's family? I´m pretty sure they killed his sons, but whatever happened to his daughter? And, more importantly, what happened to all his money?
So, for the most part I was glad to get any type of news from Libya. Obviously, the people of Libya are far from happy, and not just because of that silly video. No, there has to be more to this attack on the embassy, since the authorities were not sure whether the attacks were related to the video or just an unrelated attack commemorating the attacks of 9/11, which in turn suggests an atmosphere of general hostility in the country. Which, of course, is not much of a surprise.
Another question that remains a mystery is the correct spelling of the Colonel´s name. Gaddafi was the first version I ever saw, back when Reagan decided to bomb Libya. The american media insisted that it was Ghaddafy, which looked distinctly more mysterious than the german version. Some german newspapers suggested that it really was Khaddafy, but that version never stuck. Then, with the arrival of Al Quaida it suddenly was Quaddafy, and even Al Quaddafy but the latter turned out to be a mistake by a drunken editor at the ------- Network(deleted at insistance of the editor). One Blogger from Athens insists up until today that everyone has got it wrong and that the Colonel wasn´t even a Libyan but a greek con-man named Stelios Kontos, but I will not perpetuate any such rumours by spreading them even further, so please do ignore that last bit.
Still, after that single bit of news about the dead diplomat it became quiet again and nothing else transpired from the desert lands. An american diplomat was brutally murdered, for crying out loud, and there isn´t even a hint of a reaction from the White House, apart from a few empty phrases? The US have bombed places for a lot less, Libya amongst them. Unfortunately it is virtually impossible to assess the situation in the country with the news focussing on the rest of the muslim world. Again I find myself writing down a lot of questions with no answers. But I never promised you any answers. I only set out to describe and maybe even celebrate the last days of the Western Liberal World, no more and no less, and this is exactly what you are getting. And if you still have any doubts about the dystopian character of the whole bloody mess, well, then you obviously haven´t been watching any news lately. Maybe you decided to spend some time in your panic room. Maybe you don´t have a panic room, but still decided to spend some time there by yourself.
Don´t worry about it. It´s ok.
I understand.
Mittwoch, 12. September 2012
The Story so far
Well, the comments, questions and complaints are legion at this point. I responded to the public comments on site, and answered some of the questions and complaints in person, some via Email. But one question was unique and it turned out to be the hardest and at the same time the most important question asked. It wasn´t just a question, it was also a bit of a complaint. M´Lady Eliza of Afrique, also known as Madame Faride asked about the Dystopia. ( She also asked/complained about the lack of solutions, but that´s a story for another day.)
Of course I made some references to well-known works of fiction concerning the subject. But where´s my outlook, my view, my understanding of the Dystopia that I said I was going to write about?
Ach! This will border on both Nonsense and Pretentiousness, but there is no other way. Bear with me. To some, a secret is something they will not tell. To me a secret is something that cannot be told.
Not because it´s forbidden, but simply because its impossible to describe it, to put it into understandable words.
There are, however, alternatives, but the path is narrow and slippery.
Nevertheless, this is too important for us to hesitate even for a moment, so be strong and enter the dysmal world of "Konkrete Poesie".
This is the only way I can even begin to try to tell you. Paragraph 3 and 4 are about the Dystopia itself, the last one is about the hope in the aftermath. Good luck, or rather, good hunting!
Of course I made some references to well-known works of fiction concerning the subject. But where´s my outlook, my view, my understanding of the Dystopia that I said I was going to write about?
Ach! This will border on both Nonsense and Pretentiousness, but there is no other way. Bear with me. To some, a secret is something they will not tell. To me a secret is something that cannot be told.
Not because it´s forbidden, but simply because its impossible to describe it, to put it into understandable words.
There are, however, alternatives, but the path is narrow and slippery.
Nevertheless, this is too important for us to hesitate even for a moment, so be strong and enter the dysmal world of "Konkrete Poesie".
This is the only way I can even begin to try to tell you. Paragraph 3 and 4 are about the Dystopia itself, the last one is about the hope in the aftermath. Good luck, or rather, good hunting!
She's
flower units about the lad herself.
I
forgot how different it was. Being female.
I
haven't been one for over eighty years.
All
this attention.
It's
lovely. I almost hate to eat it.
Major,
larks true pepper. Let birds go further loose maybe. Shout easy play.
Round
the turbulent quick. Well, close the reverse! Ankle try sound.
Reset
gleaming. Dinner to bug.
Flame
the dark true, salt way link.
Complete
strike limits victory.
Frosted
wake, simple hesitation.
Strike
limits. Flame the dark true salt. Way link complete. Way link!
Victory
strike limits frosted wake. Simple hesitation!
I'm
sorry, Benjamin. I'm unable to foolish assembled regal controlled
weather.
Night,
the flow trade again. View lost pile luck. Away tunnel back the
garden.
Left,
become better, control, entire hope.
Roll
linger when life. Roll linger when.
Other
support. Strong courage. Open way long. Open way.
Computer,
replay morning.
Glass
lunch judge a bin to let it.
All
right. You can cross barrels. All job appalled.
Bread
the arrive seen earlier. Dog fellow distance.
Freitag, 7. September 2012
A Thousand Years of Darkness
Chuck Norris´ wife, Gina O´Kelley said these words on a nationwide
TV-spot a few days ago. A thousand years of darkness are waiting for us
if we dare to vote for Obama again. Of course, the natural and healthy
impulse of anybody in their right mind would be to laugh about it. Mrs.
Chuck has recently also told the world that Maria would have aborted
little Jesus under Obama care, which really says more about Mrs.Norris´
opinion of Maria that about Obama care.
Still, it is not funny. This rise of religious madness is slowly but surely leading us back into the middle ages. These two christian maniacs aren´t just a couple of dingbats that happened to stumble across a TV Studio and then went on the air for our amusement. This was an expensive, professional piece of republican propaganda, and the fact that it makes intelligent people only laugh makes things even worse. This laughter allows us to forget that 60 % of all Americans believe in angels and that god hates homosexuals, sex before marriage and abortion. For these people this speech makes absolute sense and a lot more sense than all that mumbojumbo about unregulated financial markets. We´re worried about religious fanatics declaring Jihad on all infidels, but we only laugh at the religious madness going on in our own backyard. And I don´t think that all those potsmoking doom-mongerers going on about the end of the Mayan Calendar are any better. For the last time, strap on your sandals and check the local library. The complete transcription of the calendar is located at the University of Dresden, and their top experts on the calendar will tell you that it doesn´t say End of the World on the last page but End of the Calender. In other words, you start back on page one. Or giant stone wheel one, if you´re actually using the original gizmo. But I´m wandering off here.
So, to get back to the point, please don´t try to tell me that most people know better that to listen to Mrs.WalkerRanger. They don´t. If people did know better, we would not have a conservative Government in Germany and Mitt Romney wouldn´t stand a chance against Obama.
Germany was wrecked by 16 years of conservative dictatorship under Helmut Kohl. Still, after only two years of the new Government the majority in the 2nd House ( like the Senate) was already crumbling. Of course, at this point the new Government had only just begun to pick up the pieces, which naturally involved a lot of painful decisions. But people had already forgotten who had wrecked the country for 16 years. After 4 years they still managed a reelection, but were de facto unable to make any decisions without the opposition, which blocked all of their motions in the 2nd House. These days were are under the second reign of Our Good Lady Angela and facing a possible 3rd reign under her gracious wing.
America is facing the same situation these days. Even though the new Government began in the middle of a crisis left behind by the republicans, only 4 years later the republicans behave as if they had just come back from a four year vacation during which they had entrusted the Democrats with the wellbeing of the country, only to come back like outraged, dissappointed parents who find that their kids wrecked the house with excessive partying. And people believe this. It´s like that old australian popsong "Short memory must have a short memory". Not very witty, I know, but still quite fitting.
Some democrat, I think a member of congress recently said that he was sure that people would understand that we are in the middle of a financial crisis which is not the current governments fault. Well, I think it´s very optimistic of him to take that for granted. People understand that if they buy ten smoothies they will get a free smoothie. People understand that you better not mess with the big kahuna in the sky. And people understand the threat of a thousand years of darkness, especially if the warning comes from the King of KungFu and his beautyful wife Mrs.KungFu.
Please do not force me to quote Dylan Thomas again. Just read those words aloud to yourself every night before you go to sleep, please, promise me. There may not be much we can do, but we can at least try to stay aware of what is happening. And maybe even make a little noise before we lie down and sleep.
And please try not to laugh about religious fanatics threatening us with the end of the world.
Sol in Virgo, 69 days until Eshaton.
Kidding!!
Post scriptum :"It´s only funny until someone gets hurt and then it´s just hilarious" - Faith No More
Still, it is not funny. This rise of religious madness is slowly but surely leading us back into the middle ages. These two christian maniacs aren´t just a couple of dingbats that happened to stumble across a TV Studio and then went on the air for our amusement. This was an expensive, professional piece of republican propaganda, and the fact that it makes intelligent people only laugh makes things even worse. This laughter allows us to forget that 60 % of all Americans believe in angels and that god hates homosexuals, sex before marriage and abortion. For these people this speech makes absolute sense and a lot more sense than all that mumbojumbo about unregulated financial markets. We´re worried about religious fanatics declaring Jihad on all infidels, but we only laugh at the religious madness going on in our own backyard. And I don´t think that all those potsmoking doom-mongerers going on about the end of the Mayan Calendar are any better. For the last time, strap on your sandals and check the local library. The complete transcription of the calendar is located at the University of Dresden, and their top experts on the calendar will tell you that it doesn´t say End of the World on the last page but End of the Calender. In other words, you start back on page one. Or giant stone wheel one, if you´re actually using the original gizmo. But I´m wandering off here.
So, to get back to the point, please don´t try to tell me that most people know better that to listen to Mrs.WalkerRanger. They don´t. If people did know better, we would not have a conservative Government in Germany and Mitt Romney wouldn´t stand a chance against Obama.
Germany was wrecked by 16 years of conservative dictatorship under Helmut Kohl. Still, after only two years of the new Government the majority in the 2nd House ( like the Senate) was already crumbling. Of course, at this point the new Government had only just begun to pick up the pieces, which naturally involved a lot of painful decisions. But people had already forgotten who had wrecked the country for 16 years. After 4 years they still managed a reelection, but were de facto unable to make any decisions without the opposition, which blocked all of their motions in the 2nd House. These days were are under the second reign of Our Good Lady Angela and facing a possible 3rd reign under her gracious wing.
America is facing the same situation these days. Even though the new Government began in the middle of a crisis left behind by the republicans, only 4 years later the republicans behave as if they had just come back from a four year vacation during which they had entrusted the Democrats with the wellbeing of the country, only to come back like outraged, dissappointed parents who find that their kids wrecked the house with excessive partying. And people believe this. It´s like that old australian popsong "Short memory must have a short memory". Not very witty, I know, but still quite fitting.
Some democrat, I think a member of congress recently said that he was sure that people would understand that we are in the middle of a financial crisis which is not the current governments fault. Well, I think it´s very optimistic of him to take that for granted. People understand that if they buy ten smoothies they will get a free smoothie. People understand that you better not mess with the big kahuna in the sky. And people understand the threat of a thousand years of darkness, especially if the warning comes from the King of KungFu and his beautyful wife Mrs.KungFu.
Please do not force me to quote Dylan Thomas again. Just read those words aloud to yourself every night before you go to sleep, please, promise me. There may not be much we can do, but we can at least try to stay aware of what is happening. And maybe even make a little noise before we lie down and sleep.
And please try not to laugh about religious fanatics threatening us with the end of the world.
Sol in Virgo, 69 days until Eshaton.
Kidding!!
Post scriptum :"It´s only funny until someone gets hurt and then it´s just hilarious" - Faith No More
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