Yes indeed. My beloved Wife is on a so-called business-outing (oh these young rascals!), which means I´m alone at home for the night and the remainder of the day, which means I´m sitting naked (nekkid!) by the laptop, sipping chinese Vodkatinis (dry Vodkatini with tangerine juice - the rage in Hamburg these days) watching my monday cartoons and smoking egyptian cigarettes. Just another monday afternoon, really.
Nothing out of the ordinary, one might say.
But in the middle of this weeks Simpson episode (grab the torrent at eztv.it, it's really good!) when I had a good laugh at some good Homer-and-the-kids stuff I suddenly realized where this Blog was heading and I did not like it.
I never wanted to explain stuff about China (free market is not equal to democracy) or why the UssR helped to keep Capitalism more humane -the Sovjet´s only working piece of propaganda was that everybody had a job and nobody starved, so we had to invent ways to keep people from starving and we also had to take care of the unemployed, make it look less bad, and in Germany which was centerstage these social security standards used to be the highest of the world, except for the scandinavian countries, but they had to work more and also the booze was more expensive and oh my god I´m right in the middle of doing it again!
Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick!
My therapist was right! I do need more therapie, and, possibly, a straightjacket.
Too bad she killed herself.
As I am writing these lines I am itching to explain to you that Germany during the Kaiserreich, which ended in World War I, was the first fully functional modern capitalist Country.They weren't the first to try - England and it´s rebellious little colony are the pioneers, but Germany really got the horrorshow to roll, and I´m doing it again.
Damn you Tom Robbins, damn you Hunter Stockton Thompson and damn you Aleister Crowley!
Damn your for always pontificating and damn you for tempting me into it!
This was supposed to be a celebration of the final days, a decent way to go down, a final salute before all is lost, and all we get is nagging, hindsight and boring speeches?
Oh no.Nooooooooooo!
Ok. Time out.
We obviously need to rest and regroup here. To look on the bright side, this entry is not a complete loss.
It does contain the recipe for the Chinese Vodkatini, so you got something to raise your status at the local speak-easy or Fluesterbar, as we say in Hamburg. (Actually, it´s not ue but the u with the little dots on top, but your codepage can´t handle it. ü ä ö <- See? Dotted u,a and o.)
Never mind. Go out, buy some dry Vermouth, triple distilled Vodka and some tangerines. Fill the shaker with 3 parts vodka, 2 parts dry Vermouth and 2-3 parts Tangerine juice. Add ice, stir, sieve into a Martini glass.
Squirt some Tangerine peel at the surface of the drink. Add one marschino cherry if you are a lady or a poof.
Enjoy.
Montag, 26. November 2012
Sonntag, 18. November 2012
Counting down
Well, it´s been a while, hasn´t it? Israel has actually sent a declaration of war to Hamas via Twitter (No fooling! Check it out!) and I assume their relationship-status on Facebook is currently on "It´s complicated.", thus fueling the hopes and anxieties of the Dystopian-Mystical Community. Just the other day I received an Email asking for my professional opinion concerning the correct time-zone for the end of the World on December 21. Mexican time? Greenwhich time? Oriental? Occidental?
Now, to some people these are really important quetstions! Will the world end before I get to finish my birthday party on the 20th? Should I wait until the rest of the world has crossed the dateline before I slaughter the lamb and smear its blood on me?
All those questions. Never mind that it never says anything about the end of the world in those Mayan Texts. What it does say is "End of Calender", nothing else. But never mind that.
What all of you are waiting for is, of course, an explaination for my prolonged absence.
In a nutshell, I just couldn´t stand the whole presidential election nonsense anymore and just kind of switched myself off. I really wanted the whole damn thing to be over, one way or the other. Even when Romney got so lost in his own speech that Obama happily encouraged him by saying "Please continue, Governor." I did not enjoy it. On the one hand it felt like a lazy cat playing with a stupid mouse, and on the other hand one was painfully aware of the fact that almost half of the voters were behind this sad excuse for a politician. So, finally, one night my brain began to hurt as I sat down to type out another column and I realized that I just couldn´t do it anymore. Watching the Daily Show had become a substitute for watching the news for me, which in turn began to feel like cheap comedy. I mean, isn´t it scary to think that an aging comedian like Jon Stewart is one of the most important and intelligent political commentators these days? I spoke to several Expat-Americans a couple of weeks ago who felt exactly the same, with one of them even saying that the only news he was watching these days was the daily show and maybe Bill Maher every once in a while.
Typical behavior for american liberals, all well adapted to their environment and therefore no big news you might say.
Yeah, I guess so, to a certain point that´s true.
Just like you could say that it´s no news and no surprise that Foxnews has become the
21st centuries Version of the Reichspropagandawochenschau of the US.
The big difference is that none of the watchers of Foxnews think that it´s a joke, even though they are fed nothing but crude, cheap lies, while in the liberal camp the problem is that the fantastic humour of Jon Stewart is based on the greatest joke of all, the truth.
So, you have stupid, but intense people having their fears and anger fueled on one side and intelligent, mellow people who can see the truth and think its very funny on the other. Plus, the angry people own and love guns and still think it´s ok to do things if god´s tv-guy tells you it´s ok to do it, while the other side tends to shy away from all confrontations on the enemy´s turf and prefers to withdraw into virtual liberal habitat cocoons instead, leaving the playingfield to the bad boys club.
Ugh, my brain is starting to hurt again. I was still going to explain why Capitalism has nothing to do with political freedom and how the demise of Soviet Communism damaged social equality rights in the western world and later discuss the example of modern, so-called open market China.
I hate cliffhangers. But what´cha gonna do, ´ey?
Yours Sincerly,
S.
Quote of the week:
-"Burma!"
-"Why´d you say ´Burma´?"
-"I panicked!"
Graham Chapman/John Cleese
Now, to some people these are really important quetstions! Will the world end before I get to finish my birthday party on the 20th? Should I wait until the rest of the world has crossed the dateline before I slaughter the lamb and smear its blood on me?
All those questions. Never mind that it never says anything about the end of the world in those Mayan Texts. What it does say is "End of Calender", nothing else. But never mind that.
What all of you are waiting for is, of course, an explaination for my prolonged absence.
In a nutshell, I just couldn´t stand the whole presidential election nonsense anymore and just kind of switched myself off. I really wanted the whole damn thing to be over, one way or the other. Even when Romney got so lost in his own speech that Obama happily encouraged him by saying "Please continue, Governor." I did not enjoy it. On the one hand it felt like a lazy cat playing with a stupid mouse, and on the other hand one was painfully aware of the fact that almost half of the voters were behind this sad excuse for a politician. So, finally, one night my brain began to hurt as I sat down to type out another column and I realized that I just couldn´t do it anymore. Watching the Daily Show had become a substitute for watching the news for me, which in turn began to feel like cheap comedy. I mean, isn´t it scary to think that an aging comedian like Jon Stewart is one of the most important and intelligent political commentators these days? I spoke to several Expat-Americans a couple of weeks ago who felt exactly the same, with one of them even saying that the only news he was watching these days was the daily show and maybe Bill Maher every once in a while.
Typical behavior for american liberals, all well adapted to their environment and therefore no big news you might say.
Yeah, I guess so, to a certain point that´s true.
Just like you could say that it´s no news and no surprise that Foxnews has become the
21st centuries Version of the Reichspropagandawochenschau of the US.
The big difference is that none of the watchers of Foxnews think that it´s a joke, even though they are fed nothing but crude, cheap lies, while in the liberal camp the problem is that the fantastic humour of Jon Stewart is based on the greatest joke of all, the truth.
So, you have stupid, but intense people having their fears and anger fueled on one side and intelligent, mellow people who can see the truth and think its very funny on the other. Plus, the angry people own and love guns and still think it´s ok to do things if god´s tv-guy tells you it´s ok to do it, while the other side tends to shy away from all confrontations on the enemy´s turf and prefers to withdraw into virtual liberal habitat cocoons instead, leaving the playingfield to the bad boys club.
Ugh, my brain is starting to hurt again. I was still going to explain why Capitalism has nothing to do with political freedom and how the demise of Soviet Communism damaged social equality rights in the western world and later discuss the example of modern, so-called open market China.
I hate cliffhangers. But what´cha gonna do, ´ey?
Yours Sincerly,
S.
Quote of the week:
-"Burma!"
-"Why´d you say ´Burma´?"
-"I panicked!"
Graham Chapman/John Cleese
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