For Sale

So, it´s official. The Constitution of Germany is up for grabs, no holds barred. It actually happened about a week ago, but I just could not believe it, I researched the facts with a thoroughness that scared me, really wanting to make sure that I had this right.
Unfortunately I am correct. The Supreme Court of Germany changed the Constitution with only one negative vote and one lousy, demented, bloodless TV-commentator telling the truth, that only the legislative branch gets to actually make new laws or change existing ones. The judicative branch interprets them and puts them to use. The constituional court may tell the government to change a law or declare a law unconstitutional.
But they cannot make the new law, or change the existing ones, especially not if it´s part of the motherfrakking Constitution, hot fucking damn!
Why am I telling you all these well known facts? Well, because my fellow citizens either do not know these things or they just don´t give a rat´s arse anymore. These scurvy fucking bastards really did it, and up until today, only me and stupid old Heiner ´bad breath´ Bremer have protested against this outrage. Heiner Bremer is probably senile, his teeth look like a collection of brown sugar lumps and he used to be famous for the frown on his face when the teleprompter on the night news froze up again, making him a complete fool with nothing to do but stare angrily at the camera.
Still, old Heiner went to school, he can read and at some point when he was out of toiletpaper again he must have come across the German Constitution by accident and there he must have read that according to that piece of soon to be used paper the german army may NOT operate within the borders of Germany in times of peace. Even in times of war it may only operate within Germany if enemy troops or partisans have invaded the country.

The rules are very clear about this. This has never stopped us from using the help of soldiers in times of crisis. Whenever a flood or a storm hits, the German troops will provide airlifts and rescues, build sandbag barriers and tend to the injured. They do not do this in their function as soldiers. They do the same thing as any citizen who is able and about at times of crisis, they simply pitch in. And they leave their guns at home.
Now, with the new laws invented by our corrupt judges the army can be used to the full extent of it´s capacity if the threat of an event of catastrophic dimensions is imminent.

Oh, excuse me, but could you be any more wishy-washy? A threat? Like, the imminent, even permanent threat of a terrorist attack? Or the escalation of the financial crisis, hm? Anybody who grabs power now can immediately turn the army into its police force just by declaring an imminent catastrophic threat and can you say dictatorship?
And don´t tell me that we are a democracy with rational, democratic parties in the majority. The obscure Pirate Party has made it up to 9 % in the most recent election, with some garbled message about a sort of Facebook-Piratebay-free-download society with lots of citizen participation-always provided you own the right brand of smartphone (hint:check for a used piece of fruit on the back of you product)
Anyways, when they were first put to the test it turned out that they did not even have a programm or some sort of base line. Quite a few members turned out to be good old fashioned racists, and one of their leading figures is currently petitioning the party members to finance his lifestyle, as  he is feeling tired of living off of wellfare.
Friends, I am not making any of this up. Ok, to be precise, when I said the court allowed the army to do pretty much whatever they felt was necessary to avert the hypothetical catastrophy I wasn´t entirely truthful with you. There are two restrictions that the court laid down very clearly.

Rule #1 : No shooting at protestmarchers
Rule #2 : No shooting down of civilian aircraft

Again, I´m not that drunk yet and I´m definetely not making it up. You might say that these rules aren´t really rules but things that most people would take for granted. But when you´re dealing with a bunch of fucked up, gun-crazy, unpredictable nutjobs like the army, it´s better to be safe than sorry.

So, if martial law gets declared next week I´ll just join the protest march to the Airport and take the next flight to Toronto.

Please, no, pretty please with sugar on top, do take this seriously! The current gang of rasberry flavoured arseholes known as our government has already pushed for additional legislation to make army operations inland easier.
This time, at least some of the milk drinking opposition got their thumbs unstuck from their arses and haltet the madness from progressing any further.
But make no mistake about it, the most powerful woman in the world is gearing up for a civil war in europe.
The fat is so in the fire. No fooling. And sooner or later the hog will finally stick it's ugly head out of the tunnel. Will you be ready then, big bag of rice on one shoulder, shotgun on the other?

We'll see you there.

Mahalo.Ke aloha nô!